Saturday morning I was driving my kids to Bremen to Adam and Kari's house. They were going to watch our kids while I went to the Regional basketball game between Triton and Kouts. I had been in Plymouth that morning to run an errand and was making my way to Bremen from Plymouth via back roads. I was all over the place turning and driving, turning and driving just trying to make it to a road I knew would take me to Bremen. After several turns I found Fir Rd. I have been avoiding this road for the last month. This road was a road I traveled on a lot between Bourbon and Bremen before the accident. I turned onto Fir from 8th Rd. Heading North, it would only be 1 1/2 intersections before I would reach the accident site. As I drove past the place where my brother-in law lost his life I began to cry. I looked into the rear view mirror and saw the In Memory sticker that Kari had made up for all of us. It showed Joel's dates of life and it was then that I realized that Joel would be gone one month on Sunday.
The morning of February 11, 2012, changed our lives forever. Jared's brother, Joel, was killed in a single car crash. This accident impacted our lives so greatly. Those first few days were terribly hard. We began planning for the funeral almost immediately. It seemed as if we were walking through life not realizing what was really happening. The viewing and funeral came and went. So many people came out to give us their condolences. We received lots of love from family, friends and the community. We received phone calls, texts, facebook messages and cards. Everyone has been so understanding and loving. We truely appreciate everyone's thoughts, prayers and kindness.
Jared and I had the hard time of not only trying to work through our own emotions but also our children's emotions. Lilee and Connor were very close to Joel as well. Joel and Brodee came to our house all the time. They ate dinner with us a lot. Sometimes during the week when Joel didn't have class. They ate with us a lot on Sunday afternoons just before packing up to go skating. Joel came over a lot of Saturday nights and ate with us and then fell asleep on our couch. We enjoyed having them over. We enjoyed hanging out with Joel. We had to explain to the kids that Joel was not coming back. That he had died and was in heaven with Jesus. They seemed to get it, but it did not make their healing easy. They talk about him all the time. They ask about him a lot. They wish he was still here with us, just as we do.
Connor asks us to pray about Joel a lot. He asks a lot of questions. Jared decided once Spring gets here we will go and buy a tree and plant it. The kids have decided that it will be Joel's tree. Lilee wants to carve his name in the tree trunk once it gets bigger. I think they understand that Joel is not here anymore. Now I just have to wrap my head around it. I still expect him to walk into church (late). I still expect him to come in the door and sit on my couch. I look at pictures of him all the time and still cannot believe he is gone. Jared doesn't say much, but he did make a comment the other day that he gets a thought in his head and thinks "I'm going to call Joel", and then realizes that he can't. I don't really know what he is thinking because he doesn't talk about it much. I know he is hurting and will continue to hurt for a long time. We all will.
Joel Frederick Stetzel was a wonderful person. He loved everyone. He had such a wonderful personality. He joke with you, but you knew he cared. I miss his infectious smile and laugh. He loved his nieces and nephews as if they were his own. He loved his son more than anything. Joel had struggles, but he never let them get him down. He struggled with addictions, but he knew Christ and had a relationship with Him.
I have pictures of Joel with Lilee, Connor and Rylan. I am planning to get them blown up and put them in frames. I want my children to remember their Uncle. Our newest addition may never know his/her Uncle personally, but he/she will be Joel's namesake. We have decided to use Joel's name for either a boy or girl.
Joel, we love you and miss you greatly!!!! We will see you again one day!
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